m.e.i.a.

2012-01-25T00:33:00.000+08:00

How do you deal with the fact that you no longer miss

...

the person you thought you'd never stop missing?

...

Reflection

2011-08-20T23:50:00.001+08:00

Having so much time to myself definitely makes me think alot. About whatever. Lately, it's been about my behavior around different people.

I've realized that as a safety mechanism, I act all nice and innocent. In truth, I think I'm pretty mean and sarcastic. Sometimes I really could care less about the people around me and what they are going though. Honestly. But the "nice" me, just has to care and must come up with sweet supportive things to say. Thinking it over, I don't even know whether I mean any of it.

Geeeeez.

I think alot. Too much.

Things unsaid

2011-07-03T21:25:00.000+08:00

Can I just say that it feels awesome that Kate and her teammates are taking a chance on me to act in their final film project. ALTHOUGH, I hope I don't screw it all up. I really want them to do well for this project because I know the message is something really close to Kate's heart, heck it's close to EVERYONE'S heart - anyone that has ever felt love and heartbreak and 'what-if' frustrations.

I know I definite relate to it. I hate that I do, but it's the truth.

Coming into this, I know I'm going to have to open up some still unhealed wounds about my own experiences with heart break so I can bring out the right emotions. I know it's going to hurt, especially during this time of the month when dreams, thoughts, feelings for and about you come back and bite me in the ass. I hate you for it. Yet I love you for it.

I hate myself even more for letting you be, making you, my what-if.

I'm hoping, though, that by taking up this role, it'll also help me heal somehow. Like I could imagine it's you I'm talking to and confessing how I really feel about you, both then and now. But in reality, that will never happen and that's the realistic truth about some relationships. It will always be a cliffhanger to a part of the story that is your life. The important thing to remember, however, is that it is a PART of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Funny how I can so easily say that. But when it comes to acting on it, not so successful.
I'll be trying. There's still much road left in my journey to recovery.

Chocolate Orange Brownies

2011-06-29T18:21:00.000+08:00

My pantry is, and has been for some time, low on several baking necessities but that did little to stop me from creating a baked dream. Using a basic brownie recipe as my base I used what I had, some creativity and a little guidance from the kitchen goddess herself, Nigella Lawson, I got me a-bakin' some chocolate orange brownies y'all (alla Paula Deen). Let me tell you, it SMELLS GREAT.

Here's the recipe if ever any of you potentially non-existent readers want to give it a try.

Ingredients:
150g Chocolate (Mixture of Dark & Milk Chocolate)
125g Butter
3 Eggs
1 cup Caster Sugar
1 cup Plain Flour
1/4 cup Cocoa / Chocolate Malt Drink Powder
1 tsp Orange Vest
Pinch of Salt

Method:
1. Melt chocolate, butter and orange vest in a deep pan over low heat until everything has melted. Take off the heat and leave aside to cool.
2. Add a pinch of salt to the chocolate and stir.
3. Add in one egg at a time to the chocolate mixture. Beating well after each addition.
4. Add in the sugar. Stir until well incorporated.
5. Mix the flour and cocoa together in a bowl.
6. Add the flour mixture to the chocolate mixture. Stir gently until the flour has been fully incorporated.
7. Pour into the baking tray lined with foil. Push the batter to the edges of the tray and smooth the surface.
8. Baking in a 180C preheated oven. Bake for 25 - 30 minutes.
9. Remove from the over and leave to cool.
10. Remove the brownies and foil from the tray. Pull away the foil from the brownies and cut to desired sizes.

ENJOY <3

BONUS: It's all done in one pan. Meaning? Minimal wash-up! That's always a plus in my book.

Solitary Meals

2011-06-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

Sometimes all I need is a little alone time and some food therapy. This is exactly what I've been getting the past two afternoons. And it feels great. There's just something magical about getting absorbed into the world of cooking -the tasks, the flavour combinations, THE RESULTS.

As I write this, I am happily, and hungrily, eating my just prepared simple lunch. Today it's a lettuce and tomato salad simple dressed with lemon juice, salt and pepper with lovely fried bacon. To top it off, a cut of lean pork pan coated with a rub of indian-y spices and lightly seared. The meat's still juicy and tender, oh so good. I love the combination of this quick lunch. The pork has a slightly strong flavour because of all the spices but is beautifully complimented with the clean salad and freshness of the lemon juice. And, of course, nothing ever tastes bad when you have the crunchy salty morsels of bacon running through the whole dish.

It's also a nice contrast to what I had yesterday - Spagetti alla Carbonara. The kitchen was somewhat chaotic while I was making that, what with all the pans and bowls about but nonetheless, it turned out fine. I didn't have all the original ingredients to make carbonara so I improvised. Instead of cream, I used milk and in place of parmesan was sandwich cheese. Weird and unforgivable what what could I do? I was craving. And everyone knows you can't whole a girl down once she's made up her mind. I added a bit too much cooking liquid so it turned out a bit too wet but who cares. It still tasted good, with more of a mac and cheese taste to it, i must say.

Lunch was heavy yesterday, so today I make it light. Hmm I wonder what I'll having tomorrow? Hehe my taste buds tingle with eager anticipation what I conjure up my next culinary idea.

And so, with the last bite of today's lunch, I end this post.

2011-06-20T23:34:00.003+08:00

- Indeed, what we did not do is a great regret than what we did -

2011-06-19T10:08:00.000+08:00

Technology makes us as much

- LIARS -

as it does

- TRUTH SPEAKERS -

2011-06-15T23:21:00.001+08:00

I WISH I WAS BETTER.

2011-03-14T01:01:00.001+08:00

Loneliness

is not quashed by the presence of many people.

Rather

it is with the quiet satisfaction with who you are

when you are alone.

When will I achieve this?

I feel I've built barricades against so many,

with plans to harm me

not to prosper me.

RIP Mr Yong

2011-02-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

It's times like these that make you reflect back on what was and how it could have been. A little more kindness. A little more attentiveness. A little more hard work.

You questions whether that would have made a difference to him. To know that each of his students appreciated him at that point in time, instead of just now when its "too late".

I know, for myself, I wasn't my best in his class. Secretly grumbling under my breath sometimes. Although also secretly I wanted to do better in his class. For myself and to prove to him that I was capable.

It wasn't often he smiled but when he did it felt like it was something well earned. His strict demeanor and honest evaluation of individual classes was refreshing in that he took the time to grow us according to our pace (somewhat (: )

For his sacrifice, I will try to always remind myself to be kind to my current and future teachers because I never know what tomorrow will bring and I don't want to regret not appreciating them.

I appreciate you Mr Yong. I will miss you.

2011-02-09T18:10:00.002+08:00

what I would do to eat and not feel sick afterwards right now :(

N.ext Time

2011-01-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. It felt good for a change. Hopefully being around these people again will do me good. Clear up this fog thats preventing coherent, mature thoughts from being produced within my mind. Hope and pray I will be in better -everything- at the end of this incredible experience.

BUT...

It's innominate at this point. I'll have to "wait and see" before a verdict is made :P

Ahh law. Getting under my skin now..

2010-11-19T21:36:00.001+08:00

PISS OFF

bruises visit me again. My heart. My hands.

Sunrise Comes Too Soon

2010-11-17T23:00:00.002+08:00

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf ft Lil' Wayne
(Whenever I'm not caught in my emo spell that is. Haha)

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

One Heartbeat at a Time - Steve Curtis Chapman
(How appropriate is that (x )

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

On The Way Down - Ryan Cabrera
(Hmm not doesn't that tell you something about me)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Crank It Up - Ashley Tisdale
(I'm high today :D :D HARRY POTTTTEEEEERRR FTW!)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Hornz - 3OH!3
(Huuuh?)

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

Don't Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas
(I'd definitely have to agree with this)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden
(I drive you guys crazy sometimes, but you still love me <3 )

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Hott - 3OH!3
(Now isn't that an interesting perception)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Story of the Girl - 3 Doors Down
(girl-girl action.... Naah not my thing)

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?

Wait For You - Elliot Yamin
(Sorry, math was never my strong suit)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

If No One Will Listen - Kelly Clarkson
(ILY!)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Starstrukk - 3OH!3
(Welcome to the life of Marcia (; )

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

American Sweethearts - Fall Out Boys
(YES YES! Everyone wants a piece of that luuurve)

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Lets Take Our Time - Ryan Cabrera
(Mhmmm AMEN!)

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Mercy - Glee Cast
(This would be "one of" but not THE song)

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

When You Believe - Mariah Carey & Whitney Housten
(I love this song. I would request for this to be my last song)

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Seemingly Sleepy - Late Night Alumni
(sleep is the sex)

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down
(I don't wanna die. At least, not yet)

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

You Alone - Planetshakers
(My little secret)

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

It's My Life/Confessions - Glee Cast
(HAVE FUN and NOT CAAAAARE about them stressful assignments and stuff)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Long Shot - Kelly Clarkson
(Long term friends are hard to come by. I'll cherish mine dearly)

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Sunrise Comes Too Soon - Late Night Alumni
(And just like that, it's over. Kinda like everything else in our lives)

All in all, I think the answers are preeetty accurate actually :)

attraction

2010-11-11T22:36:00.001+08:00

The LAW OF ATTRACTION

could very well be a very true and working thing.

And if so, I don't think it is bound by distance. And I'm talking about long distance; distance across oceans. Though I haven't gotten a change to truly test this theory. My recent experience could be a "mere puff" (that's a legal term for something that's over exaggerated).

When my mom was away in Barcelonaaaa, I was thinking of getting a leather jacket I'd seen in MNG quite some time back AND leather boots to go with. Just because I love those sorta things ;D I just wanted to wait for her return to discuss if it would be a good move to get them, with my own hard earned money of course.

Turns out. HEHEHE this is where it gets interesting :D :D Mom got me exactly those two things when she was on her trip. I totally love them! It's almost exactly what I would have chosen for myself.

Genuine Black biker-chick Leather Jacket

Hot Brown ankle-high Leather Boots

I'll post pictures of them when I'm not too lazy to get them. Hehe right now, I just wanna savor the moment.

Ciao.

2010-11-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

It takes a cunning mind to tell a lie

but

inner strength to tell the truth.

tornado

2010-11-02T01:06:00.000+08:00

I've always dreamed of being a world-changer.

Making an IMPACT.

I don't mean in a world renowned way like Jamie Oliver or Micheal Jackson.

To change someone's world is more than enough for me.

To know my knowledge, experiences, personality and actions can affect one to such a degree.

That would make life worth living for me.

Crazy as it sounds.

Now I'm wondering:

Was that too big a dream?

Though my dream remains the same, I find myself steering off course.

Away from the path that leads me to my goal.

Changing into a wilder, confused being.

With that, I fear I will fail and subsequently disappoint.

I've always fear that. Disappointment.

How did I get to this point?

What decisions lead me to who I am today?

It appears to me that I have made more wrongs than rights.

Is it too late for salvation? It just might be..

A knot at the pit of my stomach tells me so.

I'm in desperate need of a clean slate.

Though I know the dirt won't ever be all gone.

Tears fall.

Heart aches.

Isolated touch.

Hollow emotions.

Depressed thoughts.

Unedited words.

Emptiness.

Blank.

leap

2010-10-31T01:52:00.000+08:00

I'm not ready for this again.

go away please....

Paradise

2010-10-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

I finally know what that corner lot is!

And all thanks to the curiosity that is salsa clubbing x)

I must say it was certainly an experience. I'd probably go again but definitely have to work on them skills a bit more first. I realised though that I'm much, much more comfortable dancing with member from my own salsa class.

(Well DUUH Marcia, everyone's more comfortable with people they knoww =.=) Haha I crack myself up!

Now! To be more acquainted with the other kinda clubbing :D

I promise I will only do this once in a very blue moon.

For my own sanity and safety

(from my parents :O )

digressions

2010-10-19T21:32:00.000+08:00

Alice in Wonderland > Johnny Depp > Literature > Leonardo DiCaprio > Romeo and Juliet > Inception > Blood Diamond > His AWESOMENESS!

Today marks the first, of hopefully many more, digression sessions during law class. More specifically, criminal law class. I sense Ms Kat has a lot of digressing potential in her xD

And while this is all good and well, it makes me really miss my Lit class in A-Levels with Ms Anne. Ah such good memories packed into that 11-people strong family for 1 and a half years. I mean, it's also because the digressions during Lit class wasn't just meaningless crap but life enriching knowledge, for the majority of the time.

So while I might be saying this too soon but I just don't feel that closeness I have with my A-Levels buddies with my law buddies. Though, keeping the optimist inside me alive, I'm still hopeful for a tight group hailing from the land of LAWWW ;)

healthy sickness

2010-10-09T15:35:00.001+08:00

Did you know hospitals feed sick people ice-cream :O And here we all thought hospitals would provide the most nutritious food next to mom's, of course.

Haha but seriously, it's actually because ice-cream has a bunch of nutrients like calcium(milk&cream) and protein(eggs). The fact that it goes down easily helps too ;)

repetition

2010-10-08T18:37:00.000+08:00

I just had a read through of all the posts I've put up on this blog lately and realise that I use the word

"HOPE"

in almost every one of them. Hmm weird...

Maybe my parents should have named me Hope instead xP

naaahhh I like my name waay too much x)

2010-10-05T18:53:00.000+08:00

For the promise of tomorrow brings about hope.

Breathe Again - Sara Barellies

Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back

At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?

All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one

Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

I'll breathe again

Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth

And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view

Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart

And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

It hurts to be here

I only wanted love from you

It hurts to be here

What am I gonna do?

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

I'll breathe again

a page of life

2010-09-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

A few words and a song to sum up how I've been feeling lately about a matter that cuts close to the heart:

I'm not sure why but of late, my head's been filled with memories of the past; memories of him.

It's pretty frustrating because I'm happy for him for moving on.

But I do miss him, miss what we had. A lot.

Then I kick myself in the head for how subconsciously uncommitted I was to the relationship.

SO stupid to allow the past to greatly affect the future,

with such potential for happiness.

Basically, I have commitment and trust issues.

And what I need to do about it:

Pages of Life - Tyler Ward

Now this is over

Over between what you've wanted to be

Nothing can change now I'm ready to breathe

Time to Fly
Mark this one down in the pages of life
Say goodbye
Further and further away from the night

Child-like Faith

2010-08-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

When exactly is it that we stop being kids?

And start the never ending spiral into the grown-up world,

full of responsibility and somewhat total lack of randomness.

When that day comes for me,

I hope to be nearing my end.

Here's to a life full of inspirational creativity, world altering thoughts, sufficiently mature responsibility and absolute RANDOMNESS (to keep the heart pumping and laugher levels sky high) !

2010-08-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

There's always a little truth behind every 'joking',

A little knowledge behind every 'I don't know'

Good observation, no?

Too bad I didn't come up with it :P

Oh well, at least someone thought of it.

movies

2010-08-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

A multitude of emotions. UP and DOWN.

A series of suicidal thoughts.

The endless doubt.

The invisible self-esteem.

One week later.

I'm finally seeing the potential brightness of the future. I admit, I'm still feeling a tad too emotional, but definitely better than I was and definitely away from the negative side. Most of which I must credit to the most random movie.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Isn't it somewhat magical the effect some movies have on you? I mean the scenes, the words, the music all in all giving you new inspiration; a hope that things will get a little better. Even though you know it's fictional and that there are many more factors to consider in the "real" world. Still, people associate with the plot they watch on the big screen.

Relevance? It has similarities to the situation(s) they're facing in their own lives.

Why? Because they want so much to believe that it is possible to overcome.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think in the history of movie making, there isn't a single one that leaves people discouraged after watching it. Sure there are movies that leave its audience unchanged emotionally, like those slap-stick humorous ones I.E. Austin Powers but never one that dampens ones spirits.

All people want (and need) is a little bit of HOPE.

not the end

2010-08-17T18:03:00.000+08:00

. Ayesha . Weng Yee . Kaykay . Lucas . Kim . Anthea . Pammy.

I'm really going to miss this whole bunch...

We've come so far from just being classmates. To me, they've become an extension of my family. Each one adds their own unique edge to the group, enriching the "family".

But what do you expect! With this bunch, not a single day of the past year and a half has been boring. Lameness, sick jokes, out-of-this-world creativity, unparalleled wit and care all in, they've made my A-levels experience everything I hoped it could be and then some.

Being around them has helped me grow in different ways. All leading to make me more capable of standing on my own two feet. I just hope that I have made an equally significant difference in their lives as they have mine.

It's tough, not knowing if we're going to see each other again after everyone goes their own way even though we say we'll keep in touch. Because I know I won't meet the same kind of uniquely weird group of people in the next leg of my life.

I'll just have to hope. Hope for the best :)

Work that wall baby

2010-08-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

What?

Maxim Wallcoverings

-The Art of Wall-

Easycook

Where?

1. Maybank Treats Fair

2. MF3

3. Perfect Living '10

Why?

1. For the fun of it. What else to do with so much time on your hands.

2. Of course, the mooolaah ;)

3. Different kind of work experience.

4. See the world from the other end of the looking glass (sales person to consumer).

How?

Out of all three exhibitions, I must say by far(!) the Maybank Treats Fair tops the lot. That event to be was real fun because there weren't any expectations set besides having to stand and look pretty. So the driving force to sell came from within, no external factors added :P Best of all is that I got to meet a bunch of new people, all great at what they do. First time wearing a Hanbok too. The research was fun, wearing it was a nice adventure too. But ONLY the first time. After that, it felt more like a chore.

MF3. SSSSIIIIGGGGHHHH.....

In a word, that's what the ordeal felt like for me.

Definitely the best looking display of our product among all exhibitions. But also the most frustratingly annoying. In every possible aspect. The management. The products. The consumers. And, probably the most frus point, the lack of communication. The situation greatly affected my performance. Of course, it was cause much to my own short comings i.e. low self-esteem, competitive spirit, over emotional personality... No doubt this was totally avoidable, as it's always a choice to let something affect you or not. In retrospect, it's good that I encountered this and reacted the way I did 'cause now I know how I should behave. Lesson noted.

This weekend's Perfect Living'10 exhibition takes a close second in the ranking. This time, I still wanted to prove myself, but it wasn't my main goal. I just went with the flow, letting the money take a backseat in my priorities. So that made things more fun. But this fun was repeatedly doused with showers of cold water. Serving the customers was my high time, especially some customers who were appreciative of getting to know the product, whether they ended up buying or not. The unavoidable interaction in between with the irritatingly-irritated one wasn't pleasant though. Practically everything I did was not satisfactory, and the constant brush-outs didn't help either. It got seriously annoying because I don't know WHAT it was that made me get this kind of treatment. Is it because I got another job? Or rather WHO i got the job from? Is it because there's someone more capable to dote on? Whatever it is, the most annoying part was the level of openness to the favouritism shown. Isn't moderation key, as they say?

What's next?

Well, given the recent exhibition, that depends on whether I'm still considered a valuable aset to the company. Only time with tell ey?

Note to self:

MUST BECOME MORE CONFIDENT. GROW A BACKBONE DAMMIT!

You're out

2010-08-14T01:18:00.000+08:00

Strike 1 - You've put to rest my queries. Case closeD.

Strike 2 - You've laid my burdens to rest. My Calmness spreads.

Strike 3 - You've just poured it all down the drain. No Home run for me.

Just another chump stuck on the bench, hearing coach's naggy voice.

Baseball has never been my thing.

invisible pain

2010-08-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

Today marks the end of my life as a college student. The end of a 'sheltered' education. The end of I'm-too-young-to-understand kinda bullshit excuse. So many things have been added to my bag of memories, experiences, knowledge over this one and a half years. But the bottom line is *very sadly* what it all boils down to. The much anticipated "parting gift". What's mine you wonder? BCD is my parting gift. Greaaaat. Honestly my feelings about it are the equivalent of my feelings prior today. Indifferent. Even for me, that felt kinda odd, to say the least, not feeling more than an ounce of panic about my so called 'future'. Nonetheless, this lack of emotion quickly shot into the feeling of failure. I didn't feel so much i failed myself because I did decently enough to still do to university. Yeah sure I felt I failed myself in hopes that I could prove (to myself mostly) that I was capable of entering a university in the UK had I taken up that option. Guess I'm just a nobody with no where to go after all. But the majority of my failure was occupied by the simple notion that I had failed my parents. Again. I failed them by not giving them something to be proud of. Something to boast about to their friends (sounds shallow, but every parent wishes to boast about their child's accomplishments). I failed in my hopes to help them financially but securing a scholarship. I don't give a damn about the 'glory' of receiving a scholar, just as long as it could lessen the burden particularly on mom's shoulders. I failed in providing a better mark for Martin to overcome, which I know he can do! And at this very moment, what's the salt to my open wound is the failure of proving to my parents that I am mature and fully capable of balancing academics and extra-curricular activities without compromising one or the other. Mayyybe I'm just not smart. Mayyybe I'm not a classroom/books person. Mayyybe I'm best at things that don't end up on paper. Whatever it is, doesn't matter. 'Cause it doesn't look like I have what it takes to handle both. In the eyes of the two I worry so much about disappointing, I can't seem to get anything worth mattering about right. What. A. Useless. Idiot.

I wish I was more like Choon Lim or Janice. I'm associating with particularly the two of them because we were in Student Council together, bound by the same responsibilities. Otherwise the I-wish-I-was-more-like list would go on far too long. Their ability to distinguish between tasks and not scramble at the last minute. Their level of maturity, both in though and action, always amazed me. How they have their heads firmly screwed on through the thickest of troubles while I looked like a headless chicken running all around town trying to sort out everything myself. And I do this regardless of how many capable hands I have at my disposal. My rational mind knows what all this equates to. A lack of trust. It's the root of all the problems I'm facing now. How did I get here? I don't seem to remember the point where I stopped trusting, stopped believing in those around me and the One above. Day after day, I find myself sinking deeper into this dark hole that I can't care to pull myself out off. I'm too ashamed to ask for help. "If I can't help myself, who am I to ask for someone else's hand?" That line runs over and over again in my mind.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I see this. I know it. But I fear I've lost the flame that believes in it.

My spirit now blindly gropes in the dark that is the future. Alone.

It is my body's prisoner. Until the bonds can be broken. And the burden lightened.

jealous

2010-07-24T23:02:00.000+08:00

When is it that people feel the emotion called jealousy?

Why is it that they feel this emotion?

What causes this emotion?

These questions that have been running through my mind the past couple days. In conjunction with feeling this dreaded JEALOUSY. It's stupid because I know it's something I shouldn't have surface, particularly in this situation. But it keeps coming up. And it's blurring my judgement and destroying my objectives.

But forget that for a second. Lets bring some focus back into my life.

So I think that people actually come to "jealousy" through wanting to be the better of the lot.

What do I mean?

Well, you know how you see someone in the same situation as you, given equal circumstances, but they seem come out of it with better results than you. Or has an overall better attitude about it. You end up having a mixture of envy and a need to have what the other has. that "need" soon fills your mind. And all you end up thinking is "I want that. Why can't I have that?"

Yes, that's what I mean.

It's probably due to the whole 'champion' quality that we all have in us. You know what I'm talking about right? The whole best sperm gets to the egg thing. Yeah you catch my drift.

It's pretty childish and stupid really but everyone encounters this emotion. No matter how humble the person may appear to be in the outside. The ones who seem like they never get jealous, they're just very good at controlling their emotions and lying.

Then again this may be something that I came up with just to make myself feel better about the whole thing.

Go figure. Humans. Such complicated and strange creatures.

I'm pretty much turning into a biiiiish lah. Damn.

I will be the undoing of myself.

butterflies

2010-07-23T18:48:00.000+08:00

Stomach. Inside. Flying. Butterflies.

You're doing this to me. And I don't know if I like it or not. Because the road is so misty where you are. I don't know what will happen if I take the step that leads me forward with no way back.

Scared?

Shitless.

"We'll see" is what you said. Yes, I will see. I hope for the best, whatever the outcome.

ohh shopping

2010-06-15T20:37:00.000+08:00

I finally got a chance to go shopping :D

Ok yeah so I didn't buy anything. But that doesn't mean I didn't have fun.

Today was awesome!

Saw so many pweetty things that I want for myself :D:D

But before succumbing to the wants. I must satisfy my needs. And right now that's shoes for Grad Ball. I have a couple potentials at least.

Hope I have enough time to get it.

I caught Nanny McPhee with Weng Yee, Pam and Anthea too.

Movies with this bunch is always good, no matter the movie ;)

I have to say it is funny. But I can't say that it was better that the first Nanny McPhee movie.

Then again, most sequel firms aren't very good.

Good times aside, time to focus on Grad Ball. In 2 days.

Ahh so much to do, so little time.

hurt+pissed

2010-06-15T00:29:00.000+08:00

I know, I know. Don't let 'em get to you. They're just crapping. They're jobless idiots. Blalala...

But seriously, it hurts. And I can't unknow what I know.

- Then hurt turned to pissed -

What surprises me is how shallow our generation is. Have we nothing more productive to do with our time? Must we gain gratification from the misery of others? It's stupid and selfish is what it is.

It pisses me off that there are people who care nothing for what kind of mark our generation has the potential to leave in this country. In this world. And on the next generation.
And if you don't give two hoots about the next generation, then be prepared to reap the fruits of your labor.

You know why most adults don't respect us? Don't trust us? It's because of this kind of behavior. Childish crap people pull.

Grow UP. Seriously. JUST GROW THE HECK UP!

Ok it's out. Now what's left for me to do is leave it in where it belongs.

In the dirt.

slow much

2010-06-15T00:17:00.000+08:00

I just felt like looking back on the road that lead me to today. Was I THAT emo? Am I still?

I hear a-pondering a-comin'.

2008-04-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

Too tired for anything..
But just.. Now..
I actually can say I'm smiling
All because of the blessing faces and voices around me..
And especially in my heart :)
Unconsciously, it's made me wanna shine again.
I was already happy.
But now..
I feel happier than I have in a long time.
A happiness that was taken away to soon once.
Maybe its back again.
I'm gonna stay watch this time.
Take the time..
It's all about IQ and EQ baby :D
.

Can't get it off! The smile. Its addictive. Its contagious. Its FABULOUS!

Oh how i'v longed for its return.

It feels good. It feels right.

It feels now!

Or maybe a little later :P

2008-03-25T15:14:00.000+08:00

Closed off from love

I didn't need the pain

Once or twice was enough

And it was all in vain

Time starts to pass

Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened

For the very first time with you

My heart melts into the ground

Found something true

And everyone's looking round

Thinking I'm going crazy

But I dont care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they dont know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That i keep on closing

You cut me open and i

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear

But they talk so loud

Their peircing sounds fill my ears

Try to fill me with doubt

Yet i know that the goal

Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater

Than the rush that comes with your embrace

And in this world of loneliness

I see your face

Yet everyone around me

Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they dont know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

And it's draining all of me

Oh they find it hard to believe

I'll be wearing these scars

For everyone to see

I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

Read me like an open book

Good Friday!

2008-03-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

" Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to recieve as much again. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked."

Luke 6:22, 32-35

He was wounded for our transgressions

and He was bruised for our iniquities.

Upon Him was the chastisement that made us whole.

How would you repay Him for all He's done?

2008-03-11T21:54:00.000+08:00

Go Green House : Keep Your Friends Close, Your Enemies Closer!
Us Cuties Doing Our Thang
Soorah and I : Don't we look alike?
Elyza and I.. And Saiful's medal :P
Dopey and I : In all our goofyness

Get it! Dopey.. Goofy.. HAHAHA

The old becomes the new

2008-03-11T21:44:00.001+08:00

Ah man.. Just when I thought this little stitch up was all done up and put away, it starts unravelling itself and becomes a slightly bigger hole.
Who knew I - ME, you know!!, could get in so much trouble over this.. Grrr!
Maybe its about time I brought in the seasoned reinforcements.
Tim!! I need your help!!
He's the only one I think is capable of giving me a solution to this sticky situation.

Who knew Id ask for this kinda help.

I don't really like you

- Skye Sweetnam

2008-03-11T21:40:00.000+08:00

Good Luck All You '07 SMP-ers on your results TMR!

Know you've got it down!

Gambate :D

2008-03-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

Happy Belated Sexy Birthday Sarah Babe!!

Sorry its a couple days late..

When'd you wanna celebrate!?!?

XOXO Babe :)

2008-03-07T09:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Hanrick :D

2008-03-04T22:11:00.002+08:00

Does anyone know how to install a chatbox!??! I dont know what Im doing!! Gahhh

In between it all

2008-03-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

1.Yellow House

2.Blue House

3.Red House
4.Purple House

5.Green House

As dissapointing as it is to get last place after everyone's hardwork and time, again.. I guess its ok. I really am proud of everyone in it! They really gave their all. Saluts to Farzana for finishing your race, even though you were in alot of pain. You inspire me!! Thats what its all about. Never giving up.

Although I didnt get the medal I really wanted to get, and I really wanted it.. I just feel really blessed to be given the chance to run with everyone else during sports day. Mind you, its the first time I'v ran on sports day itself. I tried my best. We gave what we had. Thats all anyone can ask for really.

So now its over, my last sports day... *sob sob* Its time to put it behind me. Whatever the outcome, we did good. Everyone did.

Cheers to all Green House members! Keep your chin up, nothing to be ashamed of :D

Proud of You!! <3

Deep in thought

2008-03-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

You know, Iv been thinking about a bunch of stuff that my little voice, in my head, has been saying. Stuff that i cant bring myself to say out loud. Why? Because it'll make matters worse. Give people the opportunity to hurt me or make fun of me.

I know I sound really insecure. But growing up in the situations Iv been in, insecurity is the smallest of my peoblems. Being the odd ball in primary, where everyone didn't wanna talk to you, thought you were weird, that kinda atmosphere can really mess up a kid. Namely me. I went through alot of emotional ups and downs during those years. From the normal, hyper-chatty kindy kid to the stupid primary to the bully to the uber shy one. I was so messed up, I didnt know who i was by the end of my primary school life.

So I decided to toughen up in secondary school. Start anew. But now that I think about it, my new start was the opposite of everything I wanted to be. All I can remember really being is angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I'd go to school literally with a black poker face everyday. Then the same people would repeatedly ask if I was ok and it'd annoy the hell out of me! Some days I just felt like punching everything till my knuckles bleed. Such, I had good days but in that particular year, the bad out numbered the good. Not a good start at all.

Form 2 and 3 were practically the same. Knowing what i did in form 1 wasnt what i wanted, I tried to change again. But the chance wasnt exactly for the better. I went back into my shy shell. Feeling detached from everyone, not belonging to any "group" at school. The only place I felt really comfortable in my own skin was in church. No doubt church is only once a week, but it was that along with its people that kept me together. Of course, I had my share of back sliding, but God never gave up on me. He always found a way to bring my focus back to Him. I think my biggest challenge was to go for the missions trip to raub alone, without any immediate family around. In those 3 days, I regained a little bit of myself. Speaking to me every second I was there, God really touched the depths of me.

Those 2 year also thought me alot about myself. How no matter what face I put up then, I was scared. Scared i'd me hurt again. That pain i felt was worse than any physical injury i'd gotten to that point. Solution? Run away. I decided to cut off my heart from all guys. Told myself I wouldnt like anyone at all. So now, 2 years down the road, I forgot what it feels like to really like someone. Thats my consequence for not facing my fears. Its kept me safe, yes, but am I losing more? There are somedays I miss the feeling. I dont know.. It really pains me when I think about it now. Cause no matter how hard I try, I cant remember the feeling.

On the other hand, Im finally happy with who I am. Proud of who God made me. Yes, I still feel self conscious but at least now Iv got some peace of mind. I guess the easiest words to use is that I feel accepted. Normal, like everyone else. But that doesn't mean I feel all hype 24-7.

In truth, lately Iv been feeling the lowest Iv been in the past 2 years. But I think thats something you're not prepared to hear. In the hidden spaces of my heart and my mind are secrets that are meant for the Almighty and me alone. Some may see it as ordinary and petty but to me, those secrets are what hurt me the most. Its the details that make the bigger picture, the unseen things that are most dangerous.

I'd rather be Anything but Ordinary.

Sucks more!

2008-02-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

Its just totally messed up way! I cant believe how bad this day's been. Im feeling worse than i felt yesterday.

This morning's little fiasco just spelt out the rest of the day for me. Like a sign..

Sharp words totally distroyed my emotional status, in turn, messed with my head. so thats pretty bad considering my state. Then the whole first half of school was dedicated to marching practice thing. The last half, painting the green house banners. That means i didnt step foot into class the whole day. I was in the room, painting with my new friend, Rifdi, up until the time i had to go for my event. Didnt really eat anything the whole day so you can imagine my energy level.

I literally sucked like no ones business today. Uber dissapointed with myself. I know i could have done better. I guess i wasnt focusing, which is the one thing i really didnt want to happen. Plus it was HOT! And NOW, i sound like im making excuses for myself as to why i didnt perform, or maybe iv just been feeling like crap the who day. Shit laa

Could this week get any worse? I sure hope not. I dont think i can take much more of this.

everything's wrong

2008-02-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

It's about now that im feeling the punch. The body aches, black circles, bearly-open-eyes and what have you.

And what may you ask, is causing all this? Sports Day. Which is next tuesday.. So all the marching practices are going up a notch and events are underway. Still don't see whats wrong? Well, im in the long jump event, some running events and one of the seniors in marching.

You know, it'd be fine if it was spread out over about 3 weeks, but NO! it had to be cramped into slightly over a week. Its seriously taking a tol on me. mentally, physically and emotionally. I dont even have the energy to read, yes its a bad thing.

Whats freaking me out is that my long jump event is tomorrow. In my current state, im worried i wont do my best. Ok, maybe im over reacting. It being just a stupid sports thing. But hey, im really out there for my house. And i wanna do everything i can to help us win. Im just one of those kinda people who's... i cant find the right word right now.

So just pray for me please. That tomorrow wont be scorching hot, that i'll be properly energised to perform.

Thanks a bunch :) XOXO

Tarik Tali '08

2008-02-25T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ok so today was uber awesome.

Zero teachers present today in my class at all. I mean none! So it was really fun just hanging out with dana, ely, siti and bashar in our very own chillax pad in class - the store room :P

Iv come to terms that I am officially a camwhorer. So we took a bunch of haute pictures today (I'll upload them soon), for like the whole half of school. Got hand it to Kye Shane, he did good today. Really nice.

So anywho, todays tarik tali match was like WOW! Im so proud of our green house guys. You did good, regardless of the outcome.

Green House current score: 1 - 1

We've still got tomorrow. I know you can do it!

Im in for a crazy week, so watch out! I cant be held accountable for my actions.

Love ya loads people!

Tiredness

2008-02-20T21:18:00.000+08:00

Im a little too lazy to properly blog about anything today but i'll leave you with this:

hot. sweaty. tired. heavy breathing. soft sand. hot guy XP

I leave it to you to draw your own conclusion.

Let me know what it is too, if you please :P

Hari Muhibbah : with a kick!

2008-02-19T21:47:00.000+08:00

Yes I know that was like 3/4 days ago but i didnt get a chance to fill all you diligent blog reader in on how it went. So, sorry..

This years' Hari Muhibbah was definately something totally different. Different contests, different performance and so on. But one things for such. It was really fun. Slightly nerve-wrecking but fun. I feel kinda bad for those who missed out on it..

So anyways, I got a chance to take part in the Mr and Miss Traditional "Fashion" contest, something i probably would have had the confidence to see myself doing a few years ago. But im glad i took part and now it doesnt matter if i do win or not. The experience was good enough for me :D

A whole bunch of my friends took part too. Elyza, Kok Siang, Alex, Soorah, Harri just to name a few. They all looked great and walked with so much confidence! Unfortunately I didnt do so well, at least i think. People said i was walking too fast, kept looking down. Guess modelling is out of the question for me :P thats okayy

I also got to know a little more about some people. It was fun, but super jacked up with lameness.

All in all, a good day. One i'll be remembering for quite sometime :D

I'll upload them pictures as soon as I can. Scouts honour! Haha

Till next time .XOXO

2008-02-14T22:19:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day !! to everyone :D

Im so lucky to have friends who care about me. They're my REAL valentines this year.

Thanks you guys for the chocolates and sweets, it made my day!! and yes Thank You Dana for the flower :) I appreciate the gesture, as your friend.

Obstacles..

2008-02-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. Tough times are what im facing now, in so many ways. Whats a girl to do?

This is what i get for wanting to help. Makes you wonder, "whats the point? Why help ANYONE!! This is the way they're gonna take it. Is it worth is??"

I can't help but think these things.. And i feel like giving up, seriously i do. My heart's hurting too much.. To know a friend has lost all faith in you, totally dissapointed with you. Should i just shut up and hope everything gets better on its own? Step up and do something about it?

Well the truth is, im scared. Really scared.. To lose a friend, to have let a friend down. I feel like crying everytime i think about it. How stupid i am. DAMN!! IM SO STUPID!!!! I wish i could just curl up and fade away, like i never existed..

That way, i cant hurt anyone anymore. Cant dissapoint anyone anymore. Cant angre anyone anymore.

Wouldnt that make everyones life a whole lot easier.

Yet.. Iv said it before. I only wanted to help. Thats who i am. Maybe i should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe i should have let you be. Or maybe, my words werent read with its subtext. My words, with all its good intentions, were taken the wrong way. Whatever it is, its too little too late now.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Iv been sick for the past week but im finally feeling better. Thank goodness. But now iv gotta catch up on 2 days worth of work and more. Crap.

Sigh.. tomorrow's Valentine's Day.

But you know what, i think this years 14th of February is gonna be different for me, in a good way. Im finally happy. I dont feel like i need to hide behind someone elses shaddow. Happy just to be know as an individual. Proud to know that i was made in HIS image. I dont have to hope for someone to be my valentine. I dont need one. God has always been my secret valentine :D I just never saw it.

In truth, i think Valentine's Day is so over-rated. Everyday is valentine's day. Everyday is a day people should tell the people they care about that they love them.

So..

To all the people in my life, in and out of Malaysia, (and yes, you guys who're reading this too)

I LOVE YOU BEYOND WORDS!

Good times and bad times. Thats what im facing. Well, i guess i'll just have to take the good with the bad. Thats life. Without the downs, you cant appreciate the ups.

It wouldnt be called life if everything was always peachy and feel-good, thats for sure.

To you couples out there, dont cramp how you feel about your special person into one when you should be doing it all year round :)

To the singles, dont worry be happy. You've got friends and family to spread the love. :)

God is our refuge and strength.

Psalms 46:1

XOXO From yours truly. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY <3

2008-02-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

I'm Sorry...

I didnt know it'd end up like this.

I only wanted to help.

Whatever hurt or anger i've caused..

I am really sorry.

It's hurting me too,

to know i could have caused this

thinking i was helping..

Its just there,

in my head,

not going away..

Not until i know i'm forgiven.

Please...

Goodbye to you..

2008-01-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

So there i was sitting in the living room, nice and comfy, when it suddenly came on the screen(tv)..

Heath Ledger is DEAD....

NOOOOOOOO....... *sob sob sob*

you will be dearly missed :(

RIP.

Cell Outin'

2008-01-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

Last saturdays cell gathering was awesome!

Thanks so much to Shealin for opening up your home to us troublemakers :P

Hope it wasn't too much trouble.

So anyways, it was supposed to be a pot-luck thing.. but guys being guys, they brought nothing but "man power" to the table. Which wasnt actually needed cause there wasnt any heavy lifting! Well except for choon yong. At least he brought the jelly cake- which i didnt get to eat *sadnessess*. So yeah, i contributed shephard's pie (i made it myself) hehe. I was quite happy with it, could have been better but good enough. Pizza!! There was lots of pizza too.

I had alot of fun! Truly a time of bonding. We talked, watched a movie but i wasnt paying attention to it, took a bunch of pictures, laughed, ate, drive about although i didnt and probably some other stuff too. OH YEAH!!! I am sad( and slightly grossed out) to say that we tortured and killed a snail. Graphic pictures will be posted soon. And hopefully a video.

I like the part were wai kin, the recently turned 17 guy, drive like a round the park in front of shealin's house. he NEARLY hit a car TWICE, didnt look while making a turn and not to mention accelerated while jon was on the hood of pei ling's car. I repeat ON THE HOOD OF PEI LING'S CAR!!! Now that was scary. Scary but funny, after we got out of the car.

Most of the guys went on to play basketball with a couple of residents. I, not understanding why Nick was still playing with a twisted ankle, sat with rachel and mel pretending to cheer for which ever side scored. Lameness, i know. I gotta admit Ron and Darren are quite good. This coming for someone who rarely pays attention to this kinda sport. This was also the first time i met Ron. Mei San if you're reading this. I think you two are so cute!!

Moving on to a slightly more serious part of the day, I got scolded pretty bad by my dad over the phone when Shealin, Mel, Shou Yi, Nick and I were at Mcd's buying dinner for everyone. I was seriously scared.. But thankfully for Shou Yi and Mel, they calmed me down. But still, when i got home that night, i was like walking into a shooting practice where my parents were the guns and i was the potato sack they used for target practice, hypothetically speaking.

Rewinding to when i was still at shealin's place, the last hour or so I spent there, i think was what it was all about, thats the purpose of a gathering, a time where you get to know people without all the distractions and what not. Im really glad i stayed and probably wouldnt have missed it even if i was gonna get into more trouble.. Thats saying alot, you know.

I mean, i got to know alot about these friends that i had no idea about. They got to know a part of me too but after hearing their story, mine didnt feel so significant afterall. But it was a tough battle happening within me which i had to deal with on my own.

All friends can do is give advise and thats it. But thats not all i can do for this friend. I can be there for him, to listen to him if he's got anything weighing him down. But i think what he needs is to voice his real feelings towards the people that matter in his life. Then together they can overcome. And with such a great presence of God amongst them, I know they can pull through.

If you're reading this, i hope you know who you are, Im here for ya and so is everyone else. Dont keep it in :)

Marcia<3

Love is all around is, Just enbrace it already! :D

2008-01-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

Marcus doing what he does
At the airport: marcus and i
Goodbye Kl, Hello Thailand
Just arrived, Sea Game were happening
The 3 M's

I was feeling jobless. Anyways, these are the early pictures from our thailand trip. Grr friendster isnt letting me upload my pictures so i'll just have to post it here :) I tell you, we were so happy to be going out of the country for a change, even if its just Thailand. The Thailand International Airpost is really beautiful. Better than KLIA. Unfortunately..

In a nutshell, it was Great! People were uber friendly, unlike some Malaysians.. Food was unique but kinda bland without the addition of chili and stuff. Shopping there was the BOMB!! I tell you, i think i brought back more shirts than i originally took. Hehe I got my bikini :P but i regret not getting this really pretty handbag I saw. My dad'll probably say the opposite; "You already have so many bags. You dont dont need another one,". So yeah.

From that experience, I would most definately wanna go back to Thailand again.

Till next time :)

P/s: The foot massages over there are to Die for. Not a service you can find here. Well, not as good anyway.

New and... New :P

2008-01-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

Its alive.. ALIVE I TELL YOU!!!

My blog is finally coming alive again. Hahaha!! I shall promise to update my blog as often as my schedule permits me. But it must be understood that its an important year for alot of us and there are only 24 hours in a day. If i could do more, I would. Believe it :)

Marcia <3's>

Musical Theatre Workshop

2007-08-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

Its finally over. Well, it was a great 4 says and i really learned alot! Thanks so much Stephanie :D That girl is truly amazing. This is one workshop i'll never forget. I met so many new people who are really talented and friendly. ISo this it what we did throughout the workshop.

Day 1#

We watched this sermon from i dont know what but it was seriously amazing. It was about the universe and all the galaxies in it. And at the core of thefarest galaxy which is like 320 million light years away, theres something called the x structure. You know what it actually looks like? i really looks like cross!! It was so beautiful!!! Anyways, Stephanie explained to us about the song we were gonna do and what it was about and were its from. Its called "The Human Heart" and its from the musical "Once On This Island" which Stephanie performed for her graduation. So we watched the first bit of the musical, did some funny warm ups and learned part of the song.

Day 2#

Theres was alot about carribean style movements. It was super funny cause we did stuff like the chicken leg etc. Unfortunately, Sammy got injured and couldnt join us. I felt super bad for her cause all she could go was sit there and watch us...Other than that, we went on to this method of acting called story telling. Stephanie had us stand in a circle and kind of create the first thing that came to our mind and pass it on to the next person. My object was super weird. It was kinda like a box or something, like a treasure chest. Finally, we got into groups and "story told" the first 4 lines of our song. My groups went with the tv channel theme. Each person represents a channel, a line in the song. I was a sleepwalker(a dreamer)Once the viewer(kenny) went through all channels, someone called him away( lead him to the truth).

Day 3#

Now day 3 was interesting! When i got there, there was two new guys. One of which i found really haute!! Of course i wasnt there only one. Kate, Sarah and i shared the same view :P Moving on, all the girls went with Kenny to learn some movements to go along wiht the song we were singing. But then 4 girls left to learn the alto part. When we were done, we went back to learn the rest of the some. Finally, the song was comepleted and put together with all the separate parts(soprano,alto,tenor,bass). It sounded so cool. Really nice. We did this character thing where we had to close our eyes and Stephanie guided us, telling us things to imagine. Then we drew and wrote all the things we individually saw in our minds onto this big majong paper. Oh yeah that guys name is Aaron and he was in the YKLS with Balqis and my brother.

Day 4#

The day of our performance! We just touched up on the song and dance. But for some reason, the more i sang, the worse i sounded. Maybe it was cause of the itchy feeling i had in my throat.. Anyways, the performance went well and all even though i was pretty nervous. After that, we were treated to a performance of 2 songs by Stephanie, one of which she composed herself. Then Aaron sang a song for us too, from the musical Les Miserable 'Stars'. His voice is SO amazing!

stupidity's the name

2007-08-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

My, my, my its been a while. Really a while!! This is seriously starting to become a problem. You know why? because I go online like once in 2 weeks or something like that.

Ok, the reason this post is called "stupidity's the name" because thats what iv been for the past few weeks.

First, last friday, at cheer practice, i was trying to do a handstand. And mind you, iv never done a handstand before. You wanna know what happened. Go ahead, take a guess. Nope? Dont know? Ok i'll spill the beans. I was so smart, cause when i did the handstand, i lost balance and fell*hard* on my shoulder and head. Shoulder hit the ground first followed my my head and finally, the rest of my body. Everyone was like "are you ok, are you ok?". The rest of my body felt ok except for my shoulder and neck. Didnt hurt that much at first but slowly, the pain grew. I tried getting people to pull my hand in hopes that that would help. No such luck.

So i went home and told my dad. Then he tried pulling but when i said it still hurt. He said i probably injured the muscle. Badly. So on sunday, my parents took me to think chinese chiropractor. Now comes the gross yet funny part. The doc told me that i had slightly dislocated my shoulder. Its stupid cause i was like "wow serious?!" I didnt actually feel that much pain to think that i did that kinda damage. Anways, i was told to avoid any form of strain on my shoulder for at least a week. And i followed his orders, up until today that is.

During PJ today, my captain asked that we do a little practice, since we werent having practice later. I have to admit, i was reluctent to do so because my shoulder still hurt and i was afraid i would injure it more. But regardless, i followed my captains orders. I did a few jumps and stuff. Then i supported soorah in one elevation and my shoulder already started hurting! I mean really hurt. I knew i shouldnt have done it but yeah. So i went home and told my dad and he called me a silly girl for doing that even when my shoulder was still hurting.

Final stupid move was at church earlier. I asked kate to show me this one move, the sitting on the shoulders thing. For some reason, i couldnt get my leg over onto kates shoulder and was stuck dangling there, mid-air. I was trying my best to reach the floor to brace myself for the fall but just as i was half a foot or so from the floor, kate lost balance and fell because i was putting all my weight back to lower myself to the floor. So i fell and really hit my hand into the floor ,then my shoulder. When i got up, my shoulder was practically burning and my hand had a carpet burn on it and was bruised a little.

Regardless of all the bumps and bruised iv accumilated over this one week, im still ok. A bit banged up but ok. So thats a good thing. I really hope my arm gets better by next week. Its starting to get annoying everytime i wake up, my shoulder hurts. Even thought i try my best to stay still at night while i sleep.

Anyways, that all the stupid stuff iv been doing this past week. Til next time guys.
Toodles, Caio!!

Oh Katie..

2007-07-22T00:42:00.000+08:00

[Sonnet '15]

Shall I compare thee to a chocolate kake?

Thou art more delicious and more tempting.

Extra kake does cause an extra pound or two in July,

And birthday's lease hath all too short the day:

Sometime too rich the topping of a moments happiness,

And often is her true flavours untasted;

And ever bite from bite sometimes too much,

By chance, or indigestion's discourse, untrimm'd;

But thy eternal chocolate kake shall never end

Nor lose taste of the flavours thou ow'st

Nor shall Decomposition brag thou wand'rest in his shade

When in eternal layers to time thou mature'st.

So long as ladies can eat, or noses can smell,

So long blogs this, and this gives flavour to thee.

Dearest Kate,

Happy 15th Birthday!!!

Another year of your life has passed and we're still close as ever, girl. Isnt it funny how it felt just like yesterday you and I were shaking our booties in dypers. But at this moment, I wanna take ther opportunity to say I love you for the things you and I have been through together over the years. Your sense of humour is truely one of a kind!! Never fails to make me laugh. I gotta say, your level of maturity is way beyond that of your peers. And that is gonna take you far in this world cause your also one heck of a smart girl.

I hope you'll continue to grow in your walk with God cause I know you're bound for greatness. I can see it now: Kate Ng, a History Maker. You've got a few more years to go til you completely become the blossoming woman you're ment to be. By then I'll be getting old :P So make me proud girl!! Oh yes, find love in the places you know you're bound to be it; like from me!! Lameness hahaha.... sorry, the late hour is getting to me.

I'll sign off here. Hope you enjoyed this post. Especially for my beloved, dearest cousin! One more thing, sorry if I ever did anything to you that hurt you or made you feel like "ggrrrr!!!". I didnt mean to do it at the time. The anger (or whatever other emotion i was feeling at the time) over took me. You know I really love ya!!!!

P/S: For your information, this is a remix of the famous Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare. I renamed it in comjunction with your 15th birthday.

With love,

Marcia <3

I carry your heart with me..

2007-07-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

I carry you heart with me

I carry it in my heart.

Anywhere I go, you go my dear

And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling

I have no fate for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world for beautiful you are my world, my true

And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

And whatever a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

Here is the root of the root

And the bub of the bub

And the sky of the sky of the tree called life

Which grows higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart

I carry it in my heart.

-E.E. Cummings

My world

2007-07-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

Have you ever woken up one day and thought :
"Man, Im really lucky to have the people i have in my life."

Well, i just had one of those morning. I mean, how often do we all appreciate the people who helped make us who we really are. For all the times they've listened to your meaningless ranting and complaints.. For the times they were the shoulders you cried on when you were feeling lower than the deepest ocean. But best of all, for the times they made you laugh and the memories that you'll always remember for the rest of your life. Because those memories are what make you a better person, the things that get you through a bad day. These are some of the things the special people in my life do.

For me, its mainly my family and some close friends. Mom and Dad, they've been my pillar of support for my entire life. Even though i didnt always appreciate what they did for me. But since a certain incident, iv grown so much closer to my parents and am totally comfortable to tell them everything thats in my head. The old saying is true, out of a disaster, theres always some good that comes out of it. My brothers, marcus and martin, sure they can be pains in the butts at times but regardless of that fact; their love is true and i'll love them no matter what. Sure, we had our fair share of fights and agruments but tell me are there ever siblings who see completely eye to eye? I think not. Out of our downs, they help me build endurance and tolerence against people that would cause me problems later. They were my first bestfriends too. Who could as for better siblings. If there were ever better parents and siblings, I wouldnt want to even know about them because to me and in my eyes, my family is already perfect!

Now coming to friends, how could i ever live without those people i am so blessed to know. Kate, Sammy and Shealin are some just to name a few. In all honesty, its always been hard for me to make friends. Much less best friends or close friends. But these people (and more) have made it so easy for me to open up and just love them. Theres no way i can go back to being all by my lonesome now that i know what its like to have true friends. Friends that will stick by you no matter what happens to you or what people say about you. Friends who will tell you what they really think about what you've been saying for the past couple of hours instead of beating around the bush cause they dont wanna "hurt" you. They'll tell you the truth because they know you need to hear it, even if the truth hurts. Now thats what i call true friends. And the true friends i have, im greatful for them. Thank you guys. I hope you know who you are.

What would our worlds be like if we didnt have friends and family? I'll tell what the world would be like. A total and complete failure. The world has evolved and been canggih-fied because of alliances and friendships. The world is for unity.

What do you guys think? Is friendship and family important to you?

You know I love ya!

xoxoxoxoxoxo,xoxoxo

It's been a while..

2007-07-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

I know, I know... Iv been neglecting my dear ol' blog for quite some time but Iv been really busy ok... Sorry people..

Anyways, I gotta get ready for my exams tomorrow. I'll properly update my blog after my exams k. Scouts honour :P

Take care people!!

To Nick:

2007-07-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy Official 16th Birthday Nick!!!

Haha its so funny cause I just wished you about one and a half hours ago..

Anyways Nick the party was great. Company was da bomb. Food was delish as usual!!

Ok now for the wishes and stuff:

First of, I wanna thank you so much for coming into my life( all cause of kate ). You've made such an impact in my life just by being who you are. I've seen you go through some bad times but Im glad you've come out of it better and stronger with God there beside you guiding you through it.

I dont know if Iv been the best of friends to you but whenever you're in a jam, you can be assured that Ill be there for you.

I hope that in the coming years you'll learns things than will keep you grounded morally and mentally strong. You're a great guy and Im pround of you.

Oook Im gonna stop now :p Enjoy you day to the fullest ya!!

Your friend,

Marshy marsh :)

2007-06-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

My eye's itch, had a headache aaand Iv got 3 experiments to read up for chemistry tomorrow!! Oh the pain...

Prayer..

2007-06-23T21:53:00.000+08:00

Can we touch the soul of heaven

Can we unite a sacred lesson

Every child creates a skylight of beauty

Can you hear cathedrals falling

All the universe is calling

Cry a single cello from your heart

Since the world has lost her way

Loneliness journey endlessly

Yet the promised chance remains

Gifts of what could be

So let the children remember the sun

Let the children remember the sun

Let them dance let them soar

For their lives have begun

Let the children engender the rain

As the river runs through fields

Forever subsiding their pain

Prayer

Every voice along the shoreline

Standing still within time

Spinning unresolved the walking

As each season passes

Through wonderland and looking glasses

The secret garden shires beckon's you

Gentle flower, don't fade away

Sweet innocent still harbors thee

In faith of garden dreams

Where one love lives eternally

Let the children remember the sun

Let them dance let them soar

For their lives have begun

Let the children engender the rain

As the river runs through fields

Forever subsiding their pains

Prayer

Bless the children for they are the light

They are the truth of spirit in flight

Yes the children engender the rain

As the river runs through life

Healing their pain

If you could trust with your heart but for time

Sweet angels, conceive you have

Forever and always believed Prayer

Prayer

people sighs

2007-06-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Why? Why are people the way they are.

Is it so hard to be nice and care about other peoples feelings?

I mean, whats the point of hurting and humiliating others. Getting back at them for things they may or may no have done.Its just gonna come right back to you in other forms. Two wrongs dont make a right.

Why can we all just get along!

Love your neighbours as you love yourself...

its been a while

2007-06-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

Ok ok I know I havent been blogging for a while Iv been quite busy with school and all. Ok let me fill you guys in on what Iv been up to these past few weeks:

a) Went to the Curve with kate and sammy. Bought a birthday present for a friend. Sammy and I went to watch Pirates 3 but kate couldnt join us cause she had ballet. my favourite part of the movie, the proposal and wedding!!! Its like the wedding of the century!! So so amazing!

b) I went for a friends birthday dinner the following week. A simple dinner among friends but an enjoyable time. I was kinda overdressed tho :P

c) Then I went bikini shopping with my mom. After looking around, we narrowed it down to two, a white one and a brown. Mom said the white one made me look fresher but still wasnt sure. So we called my dad all the way in Aussie for his opinion. He chose the brown one.

d) I went to the seventeen summer splash and summer hunks party with sammy and kate. My first time wearing a bikini in public :P but it was really fun. Loved the pictures we took. Sammy!! Can you send them to me!!

e) I had my first attempts at apple crumble. It turned out pretty good although my made too much crumble but mom didnt seem to have any problems with that :D

f)Just last saturday, I went to the Beryl's chocolate factory for a tour with the people I worked for. Kinda dissapointing cause it was so short but the kids made it fun. The one and only cute guy there didnt make it bad either hehe. Sadly I dont know who he is.

g) Last saturday and sunday, the days I was waiting for for the past 3+ months. The Portrait. Sarah, Denise, Nicole, Ivan, Tze Quan, Tim and everyone else, Im so proud of you guys. You've made NST proud!! It was tear jerking ok and so full of emotion. Wish there was a cd of the songs tho. Really liked the songs. My favourite songs are Where Do I Go? and Give Me Strength. Oh and Joy In The Mall!! Wish I could see it again.

Anyways, that brings us to the present time and Im feeling mega sleepy for some reason. Been feeling like that all day.

The time has come now,

The time of my day,

To have all things go my way.

And that, for me, means sleepy time!!! Night people!!

Im out <3

over..

2007-06-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

works over!! its back to school for me... I dont wanna go... noooooo

gonna miss the babies and my new friend from singapore, michelle... keep in touch k!!

til next time,
take care people.

2007-06-04T22:41:00.000+08:00

why cant you see.. Your foolish actions are hurting people, your friends. And me too. I thought after all my hurting, I wouldn't be affected by this now. But guess what, Im still feeling the hurt and pain. Even now. I mean, dont you care about all the things that used to matter to you??
I was so stupid to even think you were such a great person. One of a kind. No one else like you. I thought no one else had your uniqueness, you sweet smile, the magic touch.
Now I know that was all a load of bull!!! What happened to you? I need to know that. For some closure. Please. Just do this one thing for me.

I miss the old you..

The one Im not looking at through a glass wall.

You're killing me.

From the inside out.

I don't really like you

2007-06-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

I know what you're trying to do

Make me fall for you

Oh why

I'd like you to leave

And leave me alone

Everywhere I go,

You'll always be there,

Try to give you hints to leave

(But it's like it came of the other ear)

I don't care what you do

I don't care about you

I don't care get a clue

Cause I don't really like you, I dont really like you

You and your friends are dense

You don't make any sense

It's all at your expense

Cause I don't really like you, I don't really like you

You heard what I said

I said I don't really like you

Time passes by

And you wonder why

I'm not gonna lie

You mean nothing to me

I don't care what you do

I don't care about you

I don't care get a clue

Cause I don't really like you, I don't really like you

You and your friends are dense

You don't make any sense

It's all at your expense

Cause I don't really like you, I don't really like you

You heard what I said

I said I don't really like you

Time passes by

And you wonder why

I'm not gonna lie

You mean nothing to me

I don't care what you do

I don't care about you

I don't care get a clue

Cause I don't really like you, I don't really like you

You and your friends are dense

You don't make any sense

It's all at your expense

Cause I don't really like you, I don't really like you

I said I don't really like you

Skye Sweetnam

Workie work work

2007-05-30T19:14:00.000+08:00

Ok so Im working again this holidays and today's my 3rd day. Somehow this time it seems a little different from the other times. Like yesterday was the first time I taught the kids anything. Ok so it was only cooking but it is harder so teach a bunch of 3-6 year old kids than it seems. Either way, it was a great experience and now I know what it feels like to be a teacher. Oh yeah did I mention, we moved to a very nice corner single story house. It's definately more spacious for the kids.

Anyways, I got my birthday present today from my teacher-and my boss. Thank you so so much Emanda!! I really love it. I got this really nice dress that we got from her sisters shop in Hartamas Shopping Centre. It's called Lovely Peoples Shop. If you guys can, go check it out. It's a really youth kinda shop with cute clothes, shoes and hair accesories. I got alot of pampering today, from shopping to food and playing with Emanda's o so cute baby girl. I love her to bits.

But, my happy bubble got burst just as we were leaving to head back home. Kate called me and said we can't go for seventeens summer splash party on the 9th of June cause it clashes with new life. Sammy also mentioned this to me when I invited her as my plus 1. Im totally bummer about it. Come to think of it, I think this is one of those tests God puts out for us to see whats more important to us. I mean, I know what I have to do and whats my priorities but Iv been wanting to go for this thing since April and its so saddening to me that I cant go now. Iv been running this throught my head since monday trying to find a way to learn the topic for the 9th and still go for the party. It does sound shallow, especially for me, but how often do I get a chance at going for a party like this for free. And this year is like the ideal year for me to do everything I want cause Iv gotta concentrate on my SPM next year.

Its times like this that makes me regret not taking full advantage of the years when I wasnt as busy as I am now. But no matter what, I cant turn back time.

Any suggestions on how I can get through this without missing either event?

Hmm maybe I should ask shealin whether I can learn the topic for the 9th this week too. I hope, I hope..

Holiday - Today

2007-05-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

Goodbye school..Hel-lo holidays!!! Well, for 2 weeks at least :P

I loved today.. Really really loved it. Although it was kinda tiring.

It feels so good to ponteng school every once in a while. Especially when its the last day of school before holidays. As a result, I got to spend a whole day with my mommy!!! And I mean a whole day. Ok maybe spending a whole day with your mom is not that big a thing to some of you guys out there but to me, it's a real treat cause I dont really get to spend time with my mom that often.

And dont think I pontend-ed school just for fun. No thats not me. Well most of the time anyway. Nah, I didnt go to school today cause I had to go to the dentist to get my retainers. Man, just when you think you're finally done with all that metal in your mouth, you gotta put it right back in!!!

Ok, today. Mom dropped me of at the dentists' office before going to work cause of a meeting. When i was done-which was like less than half an hour-I went back to my moms office with her friend. By the time we got back, my momma was already it the meeting so I just waited in her office minding my own buisness, doing my homework( see, Im not lazy), reading my story book. Before I knew it, it was already 12.45 and time for lunch. By that time, mom was still not finish and I was getting hungry. Boy, was I getting hungry.

Blah blah blah... time went on.. more work.. more reading..

Finally, we got out of that place they call an office, more like slave factory to me( sorry mommy) and headed to maju junction where we did some shopping, some window shopping and more than a little talking. I particularly wanted to go see nichii cause Iv never been there but now I have :) So we went through the entire shop and found some really nice stuff, tried on a few and eventually bought some of 'em. I got this really darling brown dress. Simple yet classy. Really nice. Not something you find on any everyday basis, you know? Mom got a square collar white blouse.. and when she got home to show dad, he was like "wow.. so sexy.." -ok maybe he didnt use those exact word but wouldn't it be cute if he did ?!

Anyways, we finally got home after a grueling 2 hour jam-filled drive home. By the time I got home, my head was pounding so bad, it felt like it was gonna fall off my own two shoulder at any given moment. Oh yeah, did I mention that a baby lizard got into our car!!! I was so scared, I didnt even want to get back in the car!!! I absolutely hate lizards!! Moving along, we ate dinner not long after mom and I got home and that brings me to right now where Im pouring out my days events onto this thing we call a blog :)

Ok, Im spent. Im seriously one tired girl but also one very happy girl :) Im going to sleep the rest of whats left of today away.

Im out.

You..

2007-05-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

Once you were here,
Now you're gone.

How do I feel?
I guess I don't know.
Or maybe,
I don't want to know.

In my heart,
You won't be forgotten.
But you,
You'll never be my number one.

I thought I knew you.
Guess I didn't.
But now,
I don't really care.
Not anymore.

Thank you for all you've done,
For me, with me.
I won't forget it,
It will stay with me.
Always.

Take care of yourself,
I know you will.
Just one thing,
Think before you act.

Once you were in my life,
But now you're out.
I don't want you in my life,
But I can't had you out of my life.

My heart aches for you,
Just for you.

You're not mine,
Not anymore.
You never will be.
You're lost,
To me.

Dissapointment.. and what it brings

2007-05-18T23:54:00.000+08:00

Why is life so full of sadness and dissapointment? From so many aspects.. Family, friends, studies, hopes, dreams... You know, sometimes it feels better and easier to just give up and not hope for anything anymore, not dream for anything anymore, not want anything because it saves you the hurt and pain and dissapointment of not getting it.

After so many dissapointments from people, you tend to stop trusting people. Why bother? You just end up getting more dissapointed and more hurt.

But on the other hand. you know why we keep on trusting? It because we cant live alone here. No matter how many times we fall and are dissapointed with the outcome. We still want to let people into our lives. Its just a matter of how long it takes for us to let people into our lives and our hearts again. We aren't supposed to be alone, to hide what we're feeling inside us all bottled up. God doesn't want us to be alone. Why do you think God put Adam and Eve together? He isn't one to let us live life alone. So keep on having faith in your family and your friends. Sure they'll dissapoint you sometimes but hey, they're only human. But God, you can trust with all your heart because He'll never let you down. He always got your best interest at heart. Friends are there for you, to help you through it all, to love and care for you!

"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you want to be happy, I be your smile. But if you need a friend, I'll just be me" - Sammy <3

Love you guys <3

We learn from our dissapointments so that we don't do them again.

the little miracles..

2007-05-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

You know, over the past few days, Iv really been thinking about all the miracles God has give and done for me-both little and big. Anyone can see God's obvious miracles like trees and chirdbirth. But what about the little ones? The ones people tend to over look and think its just by chance or coincidence. I'll tell you something, nothing in this world is by chance or coincidence. It's the little miracles that really put me in aw of Him.

Just last saturday, my mom and I had a little miracle. Since that morning, we were looking for my brothers' house keys. After lunch, as my mom was reversing the car to send me to church, her pouch-that was on the center panel-slid forward onto this cup holder thing that has a clicking cover. So, because the pouch fell on the cover, it unclicked and when i picked the pouch up, guess what I found there. My brothers' house keys! You know, for one split second i thought it was just another coincedence but then i stopped and realised what just happened. God had given us a miracle.

Then just yesterday I had another miracle. I was waiting at the baskin robins for my mom to pick me from tuition. And my phone was just hating me!! Full battery and it still didnt wanna turn on! I tried a few times but it just wouldnt turn on! There was only one other student wait to be picked up but he was waiting further down the road from me. When he left, I decided to try my phone one more time and I asked God to give me just enough battery to call my mom and ask her where she was. When i tried it again, it did turn on. With an extra bar of battery!!! With that extra bar, I called my mom and she told me to walk to mcD's where she'd pick me up and just when i reacted mcD's my moms car just got there. God made it so that I didnt have to wait alone for my mom to arrive.

Its truly amazing how He works in our lives. He does so much for us so we'll be comfortable and happy everyday and He doesnt even ask us for anything in return. Dont we serve a great living God!! I believe we do. Anyone out there reading this agree with me? Let me know.

Love you guys!!

I not a KID anymore!!

2007-05-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

Wow todays sermon by Ps Victor was really great!! and funny too! Actually, the whole nst day was totally the best.. First was the worship, i dont think we've ever done songs like that in nst before and it was really really fun!!

I really like that.. Ok, so todays sermon was mainly about the youth today and dating/relationships. Ps Victor invited 3 guys(lucus,philip and daniel) and 3 girls(debbie,pei ling and melissa) for a series of questions.I really agree with that the six of them said. Good work guys. I found the questions he asked were really relevent to all of us, regardless of our age. All the things he said about maturity, responsibility and commiting yourself. Some people need to get that in their heads.

I think if anyones gonna get into a relationship, they've gotta be able to handle it. Not run away at the fist sign of trouble. That just screams immaturity to me. I mean, why are so many of our youths in a rush to get into relationships your not ready for?? Ok fine, if you've been in one before and you find you cant handle it, why not just wait til you can instead of trying to get into another? Dont make the same mistakes again. And just because you're a few years older than you used to be doesnt mean you're able to handle a relationship. Like Ps Dan said, you could be 12 or 18 or 35 and still be immature. Oh yeah, guys, theres no point acting mature when you're really not cause girls can tell :)

Another thing Ps Victor spoke on was virginity and how precious it is. Once its gone, you can never get it back. And thats why TRUE LOVE WAITS. I really like what Ps Victor told us about the couple who married regardless of the factor that one of them had a STD. For better or for worse, even thought they couldnt have children, they were happy and stood by each other. Now thats true love. Accepting one another for everthing they are. Their talents, their capabilities and their faults.

Ok i found this part kinda lame but funny. Before your think of getting into a relationship. Answer 7 questions. I'll try to list all of them if i can remember.

1. Are your studies ok?

2. Are you responsible?

3. Have you discussed a curfew?

4. Have you spoken to your parents about it?

5. Do you know your limit?

Err ok i dont think i can remember the other two. So thats what i got out of todays sermon. I think it was really benefition to everyone who came for nst today. Maybe more benefition to some than others.

I think all of the above can be summorized into one line,

"you reap what you sow."

I whole heartedly believe that.

love you guys,

marcia <3

PS: Happy Birthday Pei Ling!!!

oh my...

2007-05-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

I tell you, add math can KILL people!!!! its so weird ,you know. The second i opened the test paper, everything i studied literally flew out of my head. I was already dumb-founded by the first question-can you believe it, the FIRST question-the more pages i flipped, the more things i forgot. Well, guess theres nothing more i can do now. Im just glad i was able to do the majority of the paper. Guess Ill just have to wait and see how i did.

Now Iv gotta try and prepare for a paper of a subject I havent even begun to learn. But thank goodness the paper is supposed to be mostly common sense.

2 Days and 3 Papers left til Im home free. For now at least.

Im out.

Of Sweet 16s and Thank Yous

2007-05-09T12:50:00.000+08:00

Look look!! Iv finally gotten a blog =P Im so lame hehe.. Anyways, today's my 16th birthday. Traditionally, sweet 16s are supposed to be super special(especially for girl-sorry guys). And so,today is special for me. Not just for me but for two other dear dear friends, Dayang and Michelle. So today is TRIPLE special!! Happy 16th Birthday to the both of you again.

Personally, i think sweet 16s is something that should be celebrated and remembered. I mean, we'll never pass this day again, neither will we ever turn 16 again so why not just celebrate the gift of life with friends and family and cherish it for all the days of your life. Man, I sound like such a hypocrite, I didnt want to celebrate my sweet 16 today but i do have good reason. Sorry kate!! I promise you'll get a chance to do something for me after my exams and after sammy comes back k =)

Ok,and for the thank yous. Mom Dad, without you, i wouldnt be here today. Thanks for everything you've done for me. To everyone who wished me, thank you so very much. Im really blessed to have everyone of you in my life. From lesson to lectures, from laughing to crying, from advice to naging, thank you. All of that has helped me become who i am. YOU'VE helped me become who i am.

Thats all from me for now. Gotta get back to studying for the dreaded mid-terms. Let me know what you guys think of my blog and what i can do to improve k. I dont really know what to do =P

Marcia <3>

m.e.i.a.

Reflection

Things unsaid

Chocolate Orange Brownies

Solitary Meals

RIP Mr Yong

N.ext Time

Sunrise Comes Too Soon

attraction

tornado

leap

Paradise

digressions

healthy sickness

repetition

a page of life

Child-like Faith

movies

not the end

Work that wall baby

You're out

invisible pain

jealous

butterflies

ohh shopping

hurt+pissed

slow much

Good Friday!

The old becomes the new

In between it all

Deep in thought

Sucks more!

everything's wrong

Tarik Tali '08

Tiredness

Hari Muhibbah : with a kick!

Obstacles..

Goodbye to you..

Cell Outin'

New and... New :P

Musical Theatre Workshop

stupidity's the name

Oh Katie..

I carry your heart with me..

My world

It's been a while..

To Nick:

Prayer..

people *sighs*

its been a while

over..

I don't really like you

Workie work work

Holiday - Today

You..

Dissapointment.. and what it brings

the little miracles..

I not a KID anymore!!

oh my...

Of Sweet 16s and Thank Yous

people sighs